DAV Magazine — November/December 2016
Holiday anxiety
Greetings, everyone. We’ve entered the holiday season, a time for family gatherings and presents. As the head of my home, my family will ask me to bless the Thanksgiving meal which, in a rather tongue-in-cheek fashion, usually goes a little something like this:
Dear Lord, I’ve been asked—no, commanded—to thank you for the turkey, which is made of meat. This turkey was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird capable of actual affection, nuzzling its young with almost humanlike compassion. Anyway, it’s dead, and we’re going to eat it. Please give our respects to its family. Amen.
Though I try to keep this lighthearted and humorous perspective on life in general, we should keep in mind some things about the holidays that aren’t so humorous.
Dr. Ken Duckworth, an assistant professor at Harvard University Medical School, says the holidays can make people feel out of control. We feel at the mercy of our relatives or can be easily steamrolled by the sheer force of family tradition. However, you do have a say; the key is to take some control over the holidays instead of letting them control you.
For many people, holiday stress can be triggered by lingering things, such as bad childhood memories or perhaps toxic relatives. (You know the type—the ones you typically avoid the rest of the year to maintain your sanity.) Other triggers can include newer issues, such as divorce, death or a deployed family member’s return. You can be stressed by the normal duties, obligations and errands of the holidays, like making the rum balls with exact precision according to your family’s recipe (even though you personally find them inedible) or placing a poinsettia on a family member’s grave (even though it’s three hours and two states away).
Regardless of how simple or complex the problems may be, to mitigate the stress you must challenge some of your assumptions. If the old holiday traditions aren’t working—if they’re not making you happy and are causing undue holiday stress—perhaps it’s time to do something different.
Therefore, here are four key don’ts to help you through the holidays:
1. Don’t robotically do things the same way just because that’s how you have always done them.
2. Don’t expect miracles. You’re not likely to resolve any underlying conflicts quickly when they took years to develop.
3. Don’t overdo it. Pace yourself, decide on some limits and stick to them.
4. Don’t worry about how things should be. Remember that there’s nothing wrong, shameful or unusual about feeling down during the holidays.
While holiday stress may be seasonal, depression can be year-round. If your holiday anxiety seems severe, extends far beyond the season or interferes with your ability to cope day to day, speak with a professional doctor or counselor. You do not have to go it alone.
In His service for You.
Dear Lord, I’ve been asked—no, commanded—to thank you for the turkey, which is made of meat. This turkey was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird capable of actual affection, nuzzling its young with almost humanlike compassion. Anyway, it’s dead, and we’re going to eat it. Please give our respects to its family. Amen.
Though I try to keep this lighthearted and humorous perspective on life in general, we should keep in mind some things about the holidays that aren’t so humorous.
Dr. Ken Duckworth, an assistant professor at Harvard University Medical School, says the holidays can make people feel out of control. We feel at the mercy of our relatives or can be easily steamrolled by the sheer force of family tradition. However, you do have a say; the key is to take some control over the holidays instead of letting them control you.
For many people, holiday stress can be triggered by lingering things, such as bad childhood memories or perhaps toxic relatives. (You know the type—the ones you typically avoid the rest of the year to maintain your sanity.) Other triggers can include newer issues, such as divorce, death or a deployed family member’s return. You can be stressed by the normal duties, obligations and errands of the holidays, like making the rum balls with exact precision according to your family’s recipe (even though you personally find them inedible) or placing a poinsettia on a family member’s grave (even though it’s three hours and two states away).
Regardless of how simple or complex the problems may be, to mitigate the stress you must challenge some of your assumptions. If the old holiday traditions aren’t working—if they’re not making you happy and are causing undue holiday stress—perhaps it’s time to do something different.
Therefore, here are four key don’ts to help you through the holidays:
1. Don’t robotically do things the same way just because that’s how you have always done them.
2. Don’t expect miracles. You’re not likely to resolve any underlying conflicts quickly when they took years to develop.
3. Don’t overdo it. Pace yourself, decide on some limits and stick to them.
4. Don’t worry about how things should be. Remember that there’s nothing wrong, shameful or unusual about feeling down during the holidays.
While holiday stress may be seasonal, depression can be year-round. If your holiday anxiety seems severe, extends far beyond the season or interferes with your ability to cope day to day, speak with a professional doctor or counselor. You do not have to go it alone.
In His service for You.
Message