DAV Magazine — January/February 2018
PTSD and offense
Post-traumatic stress disorder is one of the unique injuries that, while invisible, can significantly impact everyday activities. Emotional outbursts, lack of concentration, frequent absences and other associated issues often make life difficult for those affected.
This injury can also affect personal relationships. Someone suffering from PTSD may become easily offended, and in turn may offend someone else during an emotionally charged situation. Maybe you just couldn’t hold back any longer, and you gave someone the verbal “what for.”
A simple offense—whether due to a disagreement or misunderstanding—can rile us all. But add PTSD to the mix, and you may have a recipe for disaster.
We occasionally see this situation emerge in our own DAV ranks. If you’re ever offended, keep in mind these three steps to help you overcome offense:
1. Be open to discussing the matter. Have a conversation in private and with gentleness of heart, creating an environment where it is easy to talk about the situation and iron out any misunderstandings. Do not write a letter, email or text. Your message may be misread and misunderstood; it may quite unconsciously convey a tone it was never meant to convey. If we have differences with someone, the best way to settle them is usually face-to-face.
2. If you believe the situation will become explosive, don’t go alone. Bringing one or two others along is not to prove you’re right but to help the process of reconciliation. Sometimes having wise, kind and gracious people present creates a new atmosphere in which we see ourselves as others see us. It may well be we are not conveying our proper intentions because of our own PTSD.
3. Seek the assistance of the departmental Blue Hat Committee or similar resource to air grievances. You may have to take the issue to this level. But remember, the constitution and bylaws will be the deciding factor at this level—you may not like the outcome. It is far better to resolve your differences before reaching this point.
Keep in mind that we, as members of DAV, are all disabled American veterans. It’s likely many of your fellow members are working through some form of PTSD, even if they don’t talk about it publicly. Meet your fellow veterans with compassion and understanding, and we will better be able to fulfill our mission in harmony.
In His Service for You.
This injury can also affect personal relationships. Someone suffering from PTSD may become easily offended, and in turn may offend someone else during an emotionally charged situation. Maybe you just couldn’t hold back any longer, and you gave someone the verbal “what for.”
A simple offense—whether due to a disagreement or misunderstanding—can rile us all. But add PTSD to the mix, and you may have a recipe for disaster.
We occasionally see this situation emerge in our own DAV ranks. If you’re ever offended, keep in mind these three steps to help you overcome offense:
1. Be open to discussing the matter. Have a conversation in private and with gentleness of heart, creating an environment where it is easy to talk about the situation and iron out any misunderstandings. Do not write a letter, email or text. Your message may be misread and misunderstood; it may quite unconsciously convey a tone it was never meant to convey. If we have differences with someone, the best way to settle them is usually face-to-face.
2. If you believe the situation will become explosive, don’t go alone. Bringing one or two others along is not to prove you’re right but to help the process of reconciliation. Sometimes having wise, kind and gracious people present creates a new atmosphere in which we see ourselves as others see us. It may well be we are not conveying our proper intentions because of our own PTSD.
3. Seek the assistance of the departmental Blue Hat Committee or similar resource to air grievances. You may have to take the issue to this level. But remember, the constitution and bylaws will be the deciding factor at this level—you may not like the outcome. It is far better to resolve your differences before reaching this point.
Keep in mind that we, as members of DAV, are all disabled American veterans. It’s likely many of your fellow members are working through some form of PTSD, even if they don’t talk about it publicly. Meet your fellow veterans with compassion and understanding, and we will better be able to fulfill our mission in harmony.
In His Service for You.
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