DAV Magazine July/August 2020 : Page 15

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I t was supposed to be a celebratory weekend. Navy veteran Michael Stern had returned from an exhausting surge deployment to Somalia a few months prior and was looking forward to ringing in his 25th birthday on a three-day liberty pass. What unfolded, however, changed Stern’s life forever. A man he had met that Friday night persuaded Stern to go to his house, a captivating home in an upscale neighborhood of Norfolk, Va. By the next morning, that man, a Navy ensign, had sexually assaulted Stern, setting in motion a cascade of events that ended his time in the military. While military sexual trauma is often more commonly associated with women, up until 2018, more men reported experiencing MST than their female counterparts, according to advocates. Stern was just one of the nearly 81,000 male veterans who reported experiencing MST when seeking VA care last year. The morning following the assault, Stern was unsure if he had been drugged—a question he has to this day— in addition to drinking. He said the attack was like having an out-of-body experience. “I didn’t have any control, and it was almost like I was watching it on TV,” he said. “The last thing I remember is him telling me that if I told anyone about this, he would report me and have me kicked out.” That was in 2008, when the military adhered to the now-ended “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which barred homosexuals and bisexuals from openly serving in the armed forces. Despite being a survivor, Stern was worried about potential punishment under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. To help process the assault, he walked along the beach, wrestling with two possible paths forward— reporting it to his command or ending his own life. Ultimately, Stern chose to report. After his chain of command was notified, he underwent a medical examination, but by then, any substances he may have unintentionally consumed had likely been flushed out of his body and any DNA left by his assailant had already been washed away. In the years that followed his assault, Navy veteran Michael Stern’s endeavor to receive VA care seemed out of his grasp. After the Navy ultimately separated Stern, his mental health took a toll, which culminated in his suicide attempt. Before receiving mental health care for the assault, according to Stern, he was required to enroll in a 30-day inpatient alcohol treatment program on base. To Stern’s outrage, the civilian staff facilitating the treatment program told him it was his fault since he had been drinking. “Yeah, I was drinking, but it’s my fault because of that?” he said. “That’s not right.” He plunged into a steep decline. To add insult to injury, the day he reported back to the USS Whidbey DAV.ORG | DAV | @DAVHQ | DAVHQ | COMPANY/DAVHQ | DISABLEDVETERANS 15

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